The Land of Could Have Been

The trip to Cambridge has left me somewhat speechless. The city itself is so well "planned" with the beautiful River Cam running through the backs of the colleges of Cambridge, and vast fields/parks on both banks. King's College, Trinity College and St John's College, the one that I could have been in now, are just stunning with their spectacular buildings or castles! (Unfortunately my trip didn't allow enough time for me to explore St John's College.) As well as catching up with Graeme (my favourite Pathology lecturer back in Auckland) and my friends from lab last year, I also had the joy of attending an evensong at the world famous King's College Chapel bathed in the harmonic sound of choir echoing through out the building giving me chills down my spine.

King's College

River Cam
Trinity College
A glimpse of St John's College gate (the red building) and the tip of it's tower (on top)

My friend's room also took my breath away. Not only is her room of twice the size of min, it's an en suite. Although the building is of Victorian age, the interior is completely newly refurbished. The general facility in the house is also beyond my belief. The foyer, staircase and kitchen are so spacious that the whole house screams "welcome". Everything is provided for them in that modern kitchen. My friend is able to request for an extra bed to put into her room whenever she has visitors over. Her room is actually big enough to accommodate for two more people! Everything I saw in Cambridge is just what I pictured my life in the UK would be before I arrived. I hoped that my room would be big enough to accommodate friends who come to visit. I hoped that I would be cooking with my housemates. I hoped that the college building would be a castle. Cambridge colleges appear to put so much emphasis on ensuring their students content with their living there. And now look at my life in Oxford. I never get what I want from the college, not even a toaster or kettle. I'm stuck in this house where most of my other housemates can't be bothered using the kitchen because it is so crap and can really only allow one person cooking at any one time.

Life just always seems to be determined by the decision you make, not the effort you put in. I just happen to have always made the wrong one. I know I should be content with what I have now. But having seen the life I could've had, I still can't help feeling regretful and bitter.